Digitized

I feel there is this whole other life that used to be mine that lives in boxes downstairs in my craft room. It is the life I used to live before there were digital cameras. It is the life of my childhood, my wedding, our first apartment, Jordan's baby years, Emily's baby years and so on and so on. In the blogging world it is kind of like it never existed because there are only photographs and negatives to prove it happened instead of mpegs and jpegs and all those other pegs that computers like to play with. Until now. Craig decided to use our special certificate from the TELUS gala night to purchase us a special machine that magically takes photos and negatives from the olden days and digitizes them, finally bringing my two worlds together.

Here is the first thing Craig scanned, a picture of him on his mission in the Bahamas playing with the Haitian children.

A Little Lesson:
Whenever Benjamin gets a chance he toddles off to the computer room, climbs the chair and starts clicking the mouse with his pointer finger in perfect form. Clara is a savy and profficient computer user at age four, Emily masters things on Word that took me years and Jordan is the guy I ask when I don't know what to do next. It is hard to comprehend when I was Jordan's age computers in the home simply did not exist! Even in high school they were just starting to make their way into the average household...barely. Internet was something that just started when I went to university. You would search for something and there would be like eight or nine choices to go to. I remember my dad used to say that about the telephone and television and it made me think he was ancient. I had better not let my children overhear my ponderings.

Deciding

For the next two days I will be deciding what goals I will write down for 2009 year. I love setting goals. I have many lists of goals. The ones I will accomplish each year, the 100 things I want to do before I die, the 50 things I want to do before I'm forty, the ten things I hope to contribute to the world and on and on. I enjoy the process of thinking about it, the idea that some of the things I write down will really happen, and the falling down, brushing oneself off and starting again ritual that happens every year. It is a time I decide will this picture be me each morning, or will I continue to put exercise down in the double digits of my priority list. Will this be the year I never raise my voice with my children, clean the craft room, finish scrapbooking my wedding album or finally learn Chinese. My goals usually involve using fancy fonts and text boxes and coloured borders and clipart all to inspire me on the journey. Indeed the Young Women's organization in the church left a profound imprint on my life.

A Little Lesson:
Perhaps the reason I find so much enjoyment in the process of goal setting is the fact I am never too hard on myself when I cheat, forget, slip up or give up on a goal. And perhaps that is the reason so many of my goals return to their rightful position on my goal sheet each year. Last year when Tam and Col where over as we were trying to come up with our new year's goals I watched Tam pour over each goal with all her energy and scrutinize each decision to make sure it was in fact what she felt she really wanted to accomplish for the year. I asked her, "What are you worried about Tam?" She responded..."Well, if I write down a goal, I want to know deep down inside that I will actually accomplish that goal." It was a bit of an 'aha' moment. I had never thought about it that way. I was impressed by her desire to be true to herself. I had never gone about it that way. I realized that I was more of a let's write down a gazillion and surely I will accomplish some of them kind of gal! I decided I should probably change the word at the top of my list from Goals to "Goals, Hopes and Dreams".

A Little Thing

My buddy De and I have this little thing for the past I don't know how many years, where she has given me and herself a little Mary Engelbreit calender each Christmas. Each of us puts it beside our kitchen sinks so when we read the darling quotes we know the other one is reading it that morning too. Some of them are funny, others philosophical, but always heart warming. Sometimes they are so good we call each other and say did you read the quote today? I was so happy to see the square little box come in the mail accompanied by many scrumptious treats in a circular tin! Thanks De!

A Little Lesson:
I love quotes. Quotes that make you think, quotes that make you laugh, quotes that sum up the indescribable and quotes that make you want to do things differently. There are millions and millions of words and phrases and sentences. But when you put a few of them together in just the right way it becomes music to the soul. A few from the calender...

A friend is as gift you give yourself.

When you reach the end of your rope, tie a know it it and hang on!

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition.

Christmas Number Two

A Little Lesson:
I know one blessing I am deeply grateful for is having all four of my grandparents to grow up with throughout my whole childhood. It meant four more people who loved me as much as my parents did. It meant four more people who spoiled us around the year simply because we were their grandchildren. A blessing indeed!

Nothing Out of the Ordinary

When Jordan was three years old and Emily was just a baby I took the crafting plunge and made some home made stockings for each member of our family that told the story of the birth of the Savior. I assumed I would have another child and made an extra one. When Benjamin came along I knew I had a few years until he would notice that there was nothing hanging there for him. I look at the stockings now and think how ambitious I used to be when it came to quilting and sewing - the task of sewing another one felt like a quick trip up Kilimanjaro. After hearing my wining about trying to finish the stocking my mom responds..."I'll do it for you!" There was no thinking, wondering, pondering, or deciding of any kind. I handed her some of the others for samples, a bag of fabric and off she went. Four hours later...

Benjamin's Christmas stocking all done.
(Except the story part, which will probably take me three years to finish)

she was done.

A Little Lesson:
My sisters and I grew up with a mom that could pull off incredible feats in mere hours. She could sew, bake, assemble, quilt, create something from nothing all in the blink of an eye. Not only was she fast, she was good. It always looked shiny and sparkly and amazing all wrapped up together. Her speedy talent has become common place in our family. Of course she finished in four hours! It was nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, I wonder what took her so long?

Christmas Week

A Little Lesson:

Even the cherry blossoms lining the streets in the spring, sunsets cascading down the beach in the summer and breathtaking fall colours blanketing the city in the fall, it's confirmed in my heart once again, this is truly my favourite time of year.

Catch Up

Merry Christmas Everyone! I feel like I have fallen off the earth here at blogland. My server is not down, I am not sick, I have not decided I no longer like to keep a record of my life and I have not been too busy. There is really a limited number of quiet things that I can do between 4am-7am, while my family is sleeping. Blogging is one of my favourites because it is practically silent and I enjoy doing it so much. It started with Tuesday morning when I went to hook up my camera to post and for some reason all of the photo's I took of our fun fondue family night with the Whibley family did not unload, as if I didn't take any pictures at all. I knew I had taken my usual fifty or so, so naturally I was perplexed and decided to come back to it later. The exercise I like most about blogging is reviewing pictures and events that took place the day before and deciding what would I like to remember about this day. Sometimes it is something my children have said, some unique discovery, something philosophical or spiritual or simply a for-the-record kind of post. There is never a day that I am wondering...is there anything to say? Those who know me, I always have something to say! By Wednesday I had too many things to say and between the snow, and the children, and the fun, and the presents and the family and the friends, I became terribly indecisive and for the first time the whole process became a chore. Now with a few days off and feeling refreshed I will use today to catch up.

A Little Lesson:
The exercise of summarizing a day here on the blog helps me keep all the little things little and the big things big. (one day I will explain more deeply what this really means to me) Keeping perspective is one of the greatest exercises available to us to help us keep our lives in harmony with why we have really come to this earth and what we need to do while we're here. Taking just a moment to have a look at how the day went down is one way I believe we can do this. Prayer, scripture study and going to the temple is definitely another.

Canceled

For the first time in a really long time, church was canceled due to white stuff everywhere. We tried our very best to keep the reverence factor of our home for the Sabbath day at an appropriate level, I would give us a C-, but hey we didn't play in the snow outside, that should be worth something! Colleen insisted I share some photos of the snow to prove how treacherous and gorgeous it is.

A Little Lesson:
It feels strange to miss church when no one is sick and you are not in an airplane somewhere unable to attend meetings. Not getting everyone showered, fed, dressed, hair done, find scriptures, dig out car, bottle for Benjamin...felt great. Not saying Merry Christmas to everyone in our ward, hearing the choirs and soloist sing praises, and feeling the Christmas spirit in a more profound way... felt sad.

Pajama Day

The luxury of staying in pajamas for the entire day while doing cozy and fun things with the kids as snow piles up outside was on the cusp of being one of my favourite days of the year! Even Craig joined in on the insanity of not dressing until he went to get us a DVD to watch in the evening and decided he needed to be respectable in public and put pants on. I didn't take pictures of us all in our laziness because we all need new pajamas.

A Little Lesson:
No appointments, no concerts, no schedule, no dinner engagements, no shopping, no activities, nothing planned on the final Saturday before Christmas - AMAZING! Let every year of our lives be filled with a few of these days that turn their back on conventional crazy busy schedules, and enjoy lackadaisical bliss.

It's Cold!

Our city is having unheard of low temperatures these days and boy can we feel it! We have those beautiful hundred year old leaded-glass windows that force you to keep the heat going at full tilt every minute of the day or else you have to walk around the house looking like this! If truth be told Clara is actually my cold-blooded off spring who would happily play outside in a t-shirt, if I let her. This was just her way of showing me how funny she can be.

A Little Lesson:
When it gets this cold I think of the Robert Frost poem I learned in grade eight:

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold of those who favor fire
But if I had to perish twice
I think I know enough of hate
That for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

I realize the poem has nothing to do with snowflakes and cinders but rather 'hot' desire and 'cold' hate. I've always agreed with Frost that I think it would be more bearable to watch a world end in the mistakes of greed and materialism than the cold, stone-like result of humans filled with hate. Ironically, as we sit in our homes on the coldest day of the year and endure record breaking weather patterns, we are also in the thick of an economic disaster most likely caused by Frost's prediction...desire. Desire for more. More than we have now, more than we can afford later, more, more, more! If in fact the end is near, it looks like it is getting awfully hot around here.

Contemplating Snow

We could hardly get up our driveway because of the packed snow and thick ice hiding underneath. We decided the trek to the music school would be too treacherous and decided to stay home. The girls played outside making snow forts while I watched out the window with Jordan and Benjamin from the computer room. Jordan and I surfed on our computers and listened to the squeals and laughter of the girls. Benjamin pulled books off the bottom two shelves of the bookcase and I didn't mind. I was looking at beautiful pictures of snow on Flickr and decided they needed a solo clarinet behind them to really accentuate what it feels like to be completely surrounded by white falling snow. It didn't hurt for me to spend a little time working on my orchestration skills either. Composing is perhaps my favourite thing to do when all my children are occupied and absorbed in what they are doing.

A Little Lesson:
My dad used to play the clarinet periodically when I was a little girl. I remember never really liking the sound of the clarinet because of its low and breathy sound. I did however like the instrument as it was the one my dad played. It has a special place in the composer's world, saved for reverent and meditative melodies that feel contemplative and philosophical.

That Time of Year

Yesterday we got to enjoy the school Christmas concert in our usual tandem style. I go to see it with the little kids at 1pm show and Craig goes for the evening show at 6:30pm. We do this because families are only given two tickets and we usually have grandpas and grandmas who are anxious to come and watch. With the dump of snow we were getting it was a better idea that the senior members of our family stayed in doors. Unfortunately, with our two and a half foot zoom that our camera sports our little Emily is not so well represented. You will have to imagine that she performed with gusto and enthusiasm as did her brother on the violin, tenor and bass recorder.

A Little Lesson:
I always go to the concert with two hopes. One I will get a good seat to see my children's smiling faces. Two, there will be songs and stories about the real meaning of Christmas. I was delighted to hear THREE songs that shared the reason the world hangs the lights, decorates the trees, ties the bows and wraps the presents. Thank you Mrs. Brown and Mr. Turner for not caving to the political correct pressure of doing a 'winter holiday' song and dance!

Memorable Service

Wouldn't you know I forgot my camera! Last night I took Emily with several of her 'achievement day' friends to one of the senior's homes in the city to sing Christmas carols to the folks that lived there. For some of the numbers Emily and some of her friends played their violins and cellos. It was at that point that I thought of asking some of the seniors if they had a spare digital camera they could lend me! Oh I hate it when I forget it for something like this!

A Little Lesson:
My dear Uncle Tom who lives in Cardston Alberta, for the past several decades has devoted every Sunday in the late afternoon to the dedicated service of singing to the seniors in the local senior's home. I have marveled for years at his faithful commitment. You might be thinking my uncle is probably retired and has nothing else to do. He is a full time lawyer, stake president, devoted father of five children and even more devoted grandfather of twelve grandchildren, takes care of the many household needs of my dear grandma who lives three houses away, has kept a daily/weekly extended family newsletter going since I was just out of high school, and knows how to crochet a mean looking afghan! I could go on and on about the great things my uncle does, but the quiet service of going to a seniors home and bringing smiles to a group of people who live with pain, loneliness and fear is what I most admire about him. Last night, as I saw the people smile, cry and sing along as these beautiful young girls sang about the birth of the Savior, I got a small taste of why my uncle does what he does. It was a meaningful and memorable evening of service.

Time and Space

The action figure and car bin happened to be left upstairs from when we had a few people with young kids over on the weekend. Clara will play 'house' with her dolls, parking lot with the cars, army with the action figures and whatever else with whatever else. She is not picky.

A Little Lesson:
Clara doesn't need things to create a new world in which to play in, just uninterrupted time and space to do her thing. I wish I new how to wrap that up and give it to her under the Christmas tree, as that is what she loves the most!

Never Brag

(I plan on doing some of this on the couch today!)

I knew as soon as I said the words "he's a really good sleeper, we put him down to bed each night and I see him in the morning, he's been doing that since a few months old", I knew I was going to pay for my lack of humility. Some friends of ours were over for dinner last night and Kelli asked if Benjamin was a sleeping through the night. I bragged. Oh yes, indeed he is! We are so lucky. He is just such a good sleeper...I went on and on. Last night he woke around midnight, about an hour after I had gone to bed, and cried through the whole night. Let me say that again, the whole night. I started to think of things like appendix and kidney stones and irritable bowel because he simply had no symptoms I could put my finger on. It was indeed a long night. I had a lot of time, while trying to console my little one, of replaying the conversation over and over again of what an amazing sleeper he was. We will probably head to the doctor today to get to the bottom of this if his discomfort keeps up.

A Little Lesson:
Never brag.

Festive Mickey

In order to make our 'Disney the 13th Remember When...' meal more festive for December we topped the Mickey Mouse pancakes with green chocolate chip mint ice cream and some red maraschino cherries on top. This time we played 'who remembers the trip trivial pursuit' which completely surprised me at the little details the kids remembered. It was like we just stepped out of the oversize house-on-wheels yesterday!

A Little Lesson:
Craig asked "how long are we going to celebrate this post Disney vacation mickey mouse pancake meal?" All of the kids looked at him with shock and amazement "forever dad!!! what do you think!?!" I don't always run new and exciting family traditions that require bells and whistles by my good husband. I think our marriage is like a good car ride. Sometimes he drives, sometimes I do, and sometimes he just sits in the back seat and goes along for the ride.

The Boss's Boss's Boss

We weren't sure if we were going to go to the Telus Gala this year, with all the busy festivities filling up the calendar. We were surprised and thrilled when Craig boss's boss invited him to sit at his table. Last year at the gala, I met Kevin Salvadori and his beautiful wife and thought what a really impressive couple. We got all dressed up and headed to the Pan Pacific for a wonderful evening out. As we made our way to our assigned table Craig introduced me to many of the great people he works beside day in and day out. It's always fun to finally put a face to the names you hear so many times. We sat down at the Salvadori table with two other couple's who were also invited to spend the evening with Kevin. Then, as if it were just another normal day at the gala, who should sit down with his lovely wife...Darren Entwissle, the president and CEO of Telus. I tried not to let my eyes pop completely out of my head but instead smile like I was a got-it-together wife of a Telus employee. It turns out that Kevin and Darren who together run one of the largest companies in the country are very down to earth, kind and generous people who both have a sense of humour that had me howling throughout the night. To top off this eventful evening, when it was time to draw names for the illustrious door prizes, if you can belive it, Craig's name was picked for one of the $300 gift certificates to Future Shop. Merry Christmas! I don't know, I think I'm really starting to like these office party things!

A Little Lesson:

When the opportunity strikes to go out on the town with your husband....go.

Busy

I know it is Christmas time, the busiest time of year. I am not actually feeling that way these days. A few concerts, some gifts for the teachers, a few planning meetings with Santa, it feels pretty relaxed. I think following the energy required for the Festival of Nativities, nothing really feels all that busy. It's all pretty easy going around here. I'll tell you what is starting to feel busy are all my Christmas decorations. Everywhere I look there is a creche, ornament, or piece of Christmas wrapped around something in our home. I seem to gather a few new pieces each year, but my house doesn't seem to be growing each year. There is hardly a surface left. So all my "areas" of festiveness are really starting to fill up and look a little ...well...busy.

A Little Lesson:
I suppose to remedy this I could not put everything out and leave a few things in the bins, or perhaps I could talk to Craig about another kitchen renno. Hard to choose.

Sweet Traditions

These days everyone wakes up a little easier knowing there is a "miniature piece of waxy I guess you could call it chocolate" waiting for them in their advent calendars. As you can see Benjamin's calendar has taken a little beating. The older kids showed him on day one what to do, of course back then it was down at his level. He then returned a few dozen more times to godzilla his way into more pieces of sweet nothingness. I think there are two days left for him.

A Little Lesson:
This tradition is one I remember so vividly as a child...searching for the appropriate number, opening the cardboard doors to find a chocolate delight inside. It was so simple and yet so great. I like most of our traditions in our home to revolve around the birth of the Savior and family and giving and kindness. It has become many of those things these days as I watch the older guys share little bites of their pieces with Benjamin, worried that perhaps he might be troubled by his advent loss.

I Need to Make a Phone Call

It hurt like the dickens, whatever dickens are. My dear Clara spilled some of her hot soup all over her arm and part of her leg. She was just trying to sit closer to me by moving her bowl, as I was up getting some ice to put in our soup. After the nervous drama of putting much of her body in the sink to douse her with cold water (the soup was scalding hot) we discovered it was her tender arm, where she had burned it in the summer, where most of the pain was coming from. She was so brave. Every 30 seconds I put a newly ice-water soaked paper towel on her red skin. Once the crying started to fade, she said I need to make a phone call. I got the phone and dialed her daddy. At first she couldn't tell him what happened as it just made her cry too much as she relived the story. A little later she was able to give him play by play. It was as if she needed to talk to him so she knew he was not going to worry too much.

A Little Lesson:
Well of course the obvious lesson is, don't let your little children attempt to move their bowls of hot soup on their own. Perhaps just as important, I got another glimpse of the tender heart of my Clara who loves her daddy so much.

Better Than TV

They pull up a chair and watch Lucy Goosey for the better half of the morning. Lucy watches them and they watch her. They think, look at how she follows our every move. Lucy thinks, surely they will throw me a snack out the window any minute now. It's all the fun of playing with the dog without getting wet. This activity even has built-in snacks and drinks provided by big sister Clara.

A Little Lesson:
Sometimes she asks to put her boots on to go outside and play with the dog, but today we were lucky. Wet dogs smell much better when their on the other side of the window. Thank you Clara for wanting to stay in the jammies and be cozy on this rainy rainy day.

Following the Prophet's Voice

For years we have bugged Jordan about how when he speaks, he begins his sentences strong and audible and then each one peters off into the the distance of nothingness. His strong voice returns for the beginning of the next sentence. This means, we are continuously asking him, what was that, pardon, what did you say? Don't mumble the end of your sentences we would tell him. As we watched our prophet President Monson during the First Presidency Broadcast, Jordan exclaims "Mom! Listen! President Monson does the same thing, he gets softer at the end of EVERY sentence!" I respond "So what you're saying is all this time you were trying to be like President Monson?" He quipped "Hey, we're supposed to follow the prophet and that's what I'm doing!"

A Little Lesson:
It's hard to argue with that!

Acceptance

It was a really nice night. We watched the First Presidency Christmas Broadcast as a family in the den and then headed to the living room to put decorations and lights on the Christmas tree dad trimmed so beautifully the day before. It was all and all a fun, feel good night. I will say though, I am glad photographs don't come with a sound card. I said about forty times during the conference:

"sit still!"
"hey, this is our prophet speaking, quiet!"
"Shhhhhhhh!"
"You guys, c'ommon!"

And during our decorating:

"Clara stop picking up your brother!"
"Not in the living room!"
"Don't take that from her!"
"Stop jumping on the couch!"

A Little Lesson:
Last night was a fun night when you accept the fact that children don't always behave, and accept the fact that children who are working at learning to fast behave differently throughout the day, and accept the fact that being together sometimes means one of the gang is looking for a little 'extra' attention. I believe these little turkeys of ours are watching carefully over and over again to see, even in the face of disobedience and messing up, if they are accepted. This is, in a nutshell, the family experience.

Double Feature

Last night was one of those nights that we couldn't decide what event we would attend so we tweaked the schedule and went to both. After picking up Jordan from a birthday party in Richmond we made the trek up Grouse Mountain to go the Turning on the Lights event at the Capilano Suspension bridge and then headed down the mountain to go to our always well attended ward Christmas party, with a special visitor from the North Pole.

A Little Lesson:
This idea of trying to do it all, only works when no one in the car is worried about being early or late for either event. It was our lucky night!

The Talk

We sat in our seats while Clara looked on to the stage of her first cello concert and announced there was no way she was going to go down there and stand in front of all these people. Even the little ones with their pretend cellos participate in the Christmas concert. She decided it was all a bit too much. I gave her the 'talk'. It was filled with statements like how once she was up there she would be excited to show the audience her bowing song, and how there was nothing to be afraid of she was going to do a wonderful job no matter what, and how all the kids get up there each year to show the parents what they've been working hard on all year, and how fun it is to be a part of such a wonderful concert! No way. Then I quietly mentioned the plates and plates of treats and sweets we walked by in the lobby were for the children who came to participate in the concert. She looked at me and smiled. "Really?" You bet. Done.

A Little Lesson:
Technically it was not a bribe, rather a mentioning of the unknown. I am glad there are many hours and many days and many weeks and many months and many years in which to raise our children so that when we dip into parenting strategies we swore we would never use, that over time, our good parenting strategies, perhaps with a little luck, will outweigh our bad.

Meeting

Last night I had a meeting with my team. It involved hummus, and chips and pizza and provolone salad and Hagen daas ice cream bars, and laughing and discussing, and some more laughing and a little more discussing. It even involved a trip to the movies. Afterwards Craig, only hearing large bursts of laughter for two hours, asks "did you accomplish anything?" I quietly replied, "Absolutely, we planned everything we need to do for the Festival of Nativities 2009, minus a few details."

A Little Lesson:
Although not all meetings in the church can be as fun and enjoyable as last night's, surely some of them should.