Feelin the Love!

The marathon Festival of Nativities is over and my heart is full.
Thank you friends who came to smile at me from the congregation.
Thank for Tam who drove from Pitt Meadows.
Thank you for Al who drove from Surrey.
Thank you for Meliss who drove from Tsawwassenn.
Thank you for Sariah and Karen who drove from Mission.
Thank you for Violet who surprised me and drove from Olympia Washington.
Thank you for Colleen who shocked me and drove from Kelowna.

It was Thanksgiving weekend.
It was black Friday.
You all still came.
Thank you.


A Little Lesson:
There is a lot of highway between me and many of my friends.

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make
is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”

That doesn't seem to matter.

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and

can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

Feeling the love deeply.

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg

even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”

Thank you...

Floating

Clara asked Craig. . .
"Dad how do we actually get to heaven?
Do we take a train, a car or a bus?
Or do we just float there?"

A Little Lesson:
Last night I floated.
My hands kept my body at the piano, but the rest of me was floating.
I floated when Mary assures the baby Jesus that God was near.
I floated when the angel sang to the world that Christ is born.
I floated when the Wiseman wondered where would the Lord sleep tonight.
I floated when the Innkeepers wife poured her soul
out with regret for not making room for the Lord.
Night one of the Festival of Nativities is over.
I feel so blessed to be part of a group of people who also share their testimonies through music.
Two more nights to go.
Physically I am spent, spiritually I am full.

Hang on Tight

I am overwhelmed by what lies ahead of me this week.
My head spins when I think of what needs to be done between now and Thursday night.
But then I hear them sing the songs and play their instruments in rehearsal and I remember. . .
Joy to the world the Lord is come, Let earth receive her King!

A Little Lesson:
Sometimes my life no longer becomes a balancing act.
I take all the balls I have in the air, bring them close to my chest and hang on tight for the ride. Then I pray. . .and then pray some more.

Lucky

"Jesus is lucky" she says.

"Why?" I reply.

"Because his birthday is so close to Christmas he gets presents twice!"

A Little Lesson:

I'm lucky to have you Clara.

Halloween Time Out

She practiced all morning.

Holding out her bag and yelling "Trick or Treat!"
Until her older sister finally yelled back:
"Stop it! You're ready. You don't need to practice ANYMORE!"

A Little Lesson:
I would love to say that is where it ended.
Clara happily stopped saying trick or treat.
Emily happily went on with what she was doing.
Nope.
That would be how it would go down in the fairy tales.
Clara didn't stop.
Emily didn't let it go.
They both ended up on the stairs in full costume.
I wish I had a picture of my lion and my smurfette in time out.
Those are the pictures that make family history worth reading about a hundred years from now.

He's Just Not That Into You

"Should we try your costume on sweetie?"

Sorry Halloween.
We tried.
We dazzled him with carved pumpkins and treats.
We lured him with an elephant a lamb a ninja and a dinosaur costume.
Not happening.
I hate to say it . . .
But,
he's just not that into you.

A Little Lesson:
Sometimes you have to admit defeat and call it a day.

Too Cool

he was the classic hippy.

he was about 3mm away from being too cool to wear a costume.

phew!

we just made it.

barely.

A Little Lesson:
Next year, we will have to get Benjamin more into the game.
The Murley haul will be down by one.

Surgery

I wonder if Smurfette's mom had this much trouble getting her fake eyelashes to stay?

A Little Lesson:
I knew my lack of "make-up-putting-on skills" would eventually catch up with me!
I felt like I was doing surgery.
Sorry to say . . .
the patient died.

Step Two

Step One: Spring . . .
I sit at my piano in the living room and every song flowing through my head is being sung by their voices. It's like magic. I don't hear my voice. I cry. At times the music is so touching.

Step Two: Last Weekend
I put all the songs into the computer. I cry. They sound awful. The magic is gone. Reality hits and the songs are scratchy, hoarse and barely melodic with my raspy voice stretching for the big notes. But it is necessary to get the music onto tracks so I endure...barely.


Step Three: Last night . . .
Then they come over. I cry. The cacophony turns into breathtaking sounds I once heard back in the spring when most of the temple music unfolded. Rachel and Linda save the day . . .again.

A Little Lesson:
I think most things in life have a dreaded step two. Sometimes it lasts a weekend, a month, a season, or even many years. Step two is usually necessary. It's the "hard part" of most goals we want to accomplish while we are here on earth. The trick...remembering there is a step three... hang on.

Club Murley

According to Emily's school coach there were over 200 girls
registered for the 4th grade race. . .
from across the city of Vancouver, all running at once.
Look at the nerves on these little sweet faces.
Emily was taking it all in.
Her life is carefree, casual and creative.
This is competitive.

I find it completely impossible to cheer and scream while taking a decent shot.
You are seeing little Emily run towards the finish line to take fourth place.

A Little Lesson:
As I stood at the finish line waiting for the massive pack of girls
to emerge from around the Trout Lake bend, I overheard a few "in the running loop"
mothers talking about coaches, problems finding a good club and running gear.
The first four girls emerge around the corner.
GO EMILY!!!
As Emily ran by me, the two women standing next to me at the finish line,
while I was screaming her name, say to me,
"Is that your daughter??? What club does she run with?"
That would be Club Murley where:
instead of lifting weights she gives 30lb Benjamin a piggyback for hours a day
instead of doing an early morning jog she and her sister chase each other around the house loop
instead wearing elite gear she chooses last years running shoes,why, no laces, easy Velcro
instead of proper running clothes an Edith Cavell jersey meant for a large skinny 7th grader.

You don't have to be fancy to be fantastic!!!

Together

I was asked to speak at the Stake Auxiliary training meeting for
Stake Young Women's, Stake Primary and Stake Relief Society the other night.
It was the first time these three auxillaries would be training together.
I was delighted to share my thoughts on how "epic" I felt this change was.
I shared what it used to feel like to work in Stake YW's for five years.
It was like we were all building beautiful programs, side by side.
Up close we were strong, hard working auxiliaries with purpose and commitment.

But we didn't have it quite right, close, but not quite.
Zoom out and we were not unified.
We needed to be working together to strengthen the family and help families come unto Christ.
Not just a primary child, a young women, or a mother.
How silly would a vase filled with individually wrapped flowers look on your mantle?

...much better.
A Little Lesson:
As sisters in Zion we'll all work together,
the blessings of God on our labors we'll seek.
We'll build up his kingdom with earnest endeavor;
We'll comfort the weary and strengthen the weak.

a b e a u t i f u l s o n g
with a b e a u t i f u l m e s s a g e

Moving

I cook breakfast.
I pack a box.
I change a diaper.
I pack a box.
I referee an argument.
I pack a box.
I write a talk.
I pack a box.
I empty the dishwasher.
I pack a box.
I write some lyrics.
I pack a box.
I read a kid a story.
I pack a box.
I put away laundry.
I pack a box.
I send an email.
I pack a box.
I lay on the couch.

A Little Lesson:
Line upon line.
Box upon Box.
Here a little. There a little.
I wonder if Isaiah ever moved a 3 story house?

Mystery

(Contents of our downstairs shoe closet.)

Everyday.
Go get your shoes on Clara it's time for school.
I CAN'T FIND ANY SHOES THAT MATCH!
How is it possible that she can have four pairs of shoes without a single match in the closet.
Does she come home from school, remove one shoe, keep on walking
to another area of the house and remove the other one?

A Little Lesson:
For most, it is the washing machine missing sock conundrum.
Not us.
Go big or go home.

Bored

She was bored.

A Little Lesson:

I think it is a blessing when we don't remember the feeling,
the meaning, the experience, or the occurrence of the emotion of boredom.
That is my life.

ME!!!

She spent the day at the pumpkin patch in Langley.
She played hard with Benjamin after school.
She had some colouring kindergarten homework (not really)
A long day for a five-year-old.
Who wants to help me make dinner?
She always says ME!!!

A Little Lesson:
It means it goes into the oven a little messier than usual. . .
but comes out just as delish and more appreciated by my pickiest eater!

Tired

It's hard to go to sleep when your mom buys you blue tinted eyelashes
to go with your smurfette halloween costume ten days before Halloween!

A Little Lesson:
Mature nine year olds become giddy five year olds around
Halloween and Christmas every year. Get used to it.

Handsome

While cleaning up I came across Clara's General Conference note book.

I chuckled.
I can only hope that when I am 81-years-old
a 5-year-old would think to write the word handsome under my picture.

A Little Lesson:
I think if investigated how President Monson keeps his good looks,
the following regiment would be discovered.
kept the word of wisdom
loved his neighbour
served the Lord with all his heart
studied the word of God
forgave those who offended
honoured the priesthood
paid tithing
did his hometeaching
and daily charitable acts.
I'm pretty sure it doesn't have anything to do with Dove, Clinique or Oil of Olay!

It Fits!

Saturday we got out the Halloween costume bins.
Clara checks out what's on the hand-me-down menu.
Every year she fits another costume one of her older siblings wore years earlier.
She doesn't mind.

A Little Lesson:
I think one of the greatest qualities we can acquire while here on the earth is . . .
F L E X I B I L I T Y

Mentors

And so it goes we begin the "lasts".
The last time we will this and the last we will that . . .

Friday we hosted our last "stake presidency" dinner that we have been having for the past six years, rotating from the Sugdens to the Walkers and back again to us. We always have such a wonderful time laughing and talking with one another over good food and conversation. We will miss many things about living here in Vancouver, but this will be one at the top of the list. Craig having the opportunity to serve in the stake presidency side by side with these stellar men has been such a privilege that will stay with him for a lifetime.

A Little Lesson:

I think all of us should make sure we have a few people in our lives that act as a mentor for us to keep our eye on as we go through our years here on earth. To me that means someone living their lives the way you hope to one day. So many of my friends and family are mentors in the way they serve, find humour, overcome challenges, embrace the gospel etc. When I was little I remember thinking my Grandpa and Grandma could truly do no wrong. I still feel that way. Even though my Grandpa has passed on he is still a mentor to me in how he spent his life dedicated to serving the Lord and his family. He was never a man of wealth, but rather a man of character. Although his ability to grow peas, raspberry and carrots for the grandchildren could of made him a fortune in my eyes.

Two Feet on the Ground

A Little Lesson:
I asked her how it felt.
"Okay"
She explained her favourite colour ribbon was the white one.
"That would mean I would have to come in 13th place." she clarified.
She also said she loved the black (9th) and the yellow (5th) ribbons as well.

Jonah

It's usually completely silent.
I compose/blog/clean/read/lay on the couch and doze.
Footsteps?
But he's napping . . .in the crib!

I go upstairs to investigate.
After a thorough search of every room . . .




A Little Lesson:
Ahh, that's what I'm missing.
The ability to hide under my bed.
When there are too many loads, emails, responsibilities...
I wonder if Jonah looked as obvious to the Lord as my Benjamin does.
As the old adage goes . . .you can run but you can't hide!

Yikes!

In our kindergarten there is not a hamster or a goldfish or a turtle that comes home but rather a class mascot stuffie. There is a little book that comes home with her to record all the fun things Callie the Cat does with your child. Clara lucked out and came home with the beloved backpack on Friday after school. Four days and three nights of fun-filled holiday weekend snuggling and more snuggling. I don't know when I became a germaphobe. But as I read through Callie's previous journal entries and read sentences like "I had a fever so I snuggled Callie all night . . ." next page, next child, "I took Callie to bed with me. . ."next page, next child, "I watched Lion King with Callie and snuggled on the couch . . ." next page next child, "I fed Callie some of my dog's food . . ."next page, next child "We took Callie to my piano lesson and out to MacDonalds" It took everything inside of me, when Clara asked if I wanted to give Callie the class mascot a kiss and a hug goodnight, not to run from the room!

Little Lesson:

Yikes! I think I'm getting worse. I don't remember being this concerned when Emily brought home Leo the Lion back in the day. I used to think that worrying about germs and microbugs and getting sick was just a control thing. It's always easier to worry about what's going on on the outside of us rather than what's really going on in the inside. Today. . . I'm not so sure, where's my hand sanitizer. . .

All is Well

Niki and I took our kids to the endowment lands to run through the trails.
At every turn, they climbed every stump they could see
and announced they were the King of the World or Surfin USA.


A Little Lesson:
Everytime I said "careful"
Most of the time they didn't hear me.
That's a good thing.
They are kids and they need to climb things.
I'm a mom and I need to worry.
All is well with the world.

Unattended

We met with an architect in our dinning room yesterday for one hour.
We left Benjamin pretty much unattended the whole time.

A Little Lesson:
I am feeling grateful.
The last time he felt a need to "get creative" it involved a permanent marker.
Chocolate pudding is 100% washable.

Where Did I Go?

I disappeared here on the blog for over a month during August and September.
Although I was busy with all sorts of things my heart, mind and soul were engaged daily with another special assignment that was extended to me in the late spring. I am going to be in charge of the Temple Youth Celebration that will take place at the Langley Event Center the night before the Temple Dedication. This will involve all the youth from the province who live in the temple district as well as the youth from Bellingham. I have just finished the script and composing the songs and they will finally be delivered to Salt Lake for approval this week. It has taken the early hours of my morning when I usually blog and it has taken the few hours I get when Benjamin sleeps every afternoon. It has been a labour of love. I have an incredible team of people who will help me bring this show to the stage. I decided not to write about the daily details of this process as it felt so special. Not secret. Just special. Never have I felt more love and peace composing then I have writing music for the Temple. It has filled my soul when life around me sometimes felt hard and heavy.

A Little Lesson:
That is what the temple is.
Love and peace.
A refuge for the weary.
Sunshine for the soul.
I love to see the temple . . .and in a few more months. . .
I'm going there some day!

Still Going Strong

Still going . . .
My tomatoes are like the energizer bunny.
Especially the cherry ones.
I pick this many everyday and there are still a hundred or so left on the vine.
They don't look quite as pretty as they did in August.
But after all . . .it is October!

A Little Lesson:
It's a good thing Benjamin and I LOVE
tomato sandwiches
greek salad
brochetta
BLT's
tomato and cheese pizza
and
s a l s a!

Ran a Good Race

Yesterday Emily ran in the cross country meet at Douglas Park.

She was up against about 20 other kids from about 5 different schools.
I think she would say playing around with her teammates before the race was the best part.

As her race got closer she started to get some jitters.
Last week she came in 2nd place and she saw the girl that beat her.
Her dad gave her some advice as he used to run like the wind at her age.

On your marks . . .

It was a long kilometer and a half.
She did it at full sprint most of the way.
It made my lungs burn just watching her!

She rounded the home stretch with four other girls and took third place.
What a race!
Why no finish line pictures?
I was too busy cheering and screaming her on!
She was so happy.
We were so proud.

A Little Lesson:
Spending the afternoon at the track meet reminds me once again...
life is not a race.
Not even against ourselves.
We are not running against each other, trying to get ahead, trying to pass on the inside.
There is no, "who can get there first" or "what place are you in".
It is just a journey.

It was still awesome to watch a good old fashion foot race with blue ribbons and finish lines!

Cousins

Some of my favourite people walking the earth are my cousins. I don't get to see them a whole lot as so many of them live in Alberta, but I just think they're all so awesome. Half of them are awesome moms, living the gospel while juggling a family and home. The other half are awesome dads, living the gospel while juggling family and work. Then there are a few little guys who are just coming onto the scene. (Auntie Lisa was born just as my dad left for his mission.) The other night I went to a Vancouver Giants game. Yes, I enjoyed a good game of hockey, but I wasn't there to cheer on the home team. Not this time! That's my talented cousin Mitch, number 6, playing for Lethbridge at the Pacific Coliseum! He was incredible! It took everything inside of me to not yell at the Lethbridge coach every time he was taken off the ice. He was just so fast and his shot was like a mac truck bullet and he weaved in and out of everyone . . .oh what a fun game to watch.

A Little Lesson:
I was so proud of Mitch!!! I sat there and cheered with all my might. But really I wish I could do that with all my 27 cousins. Give them a standing ovation and let them all know how proud I am of all of them working so hard, playing the game of life so well! As most of them don't have stadium seats in their living room, this blog post of gratitude for them will have to do.
Just imagine I'm doing the wave right now.
Go team go!

Only Child

The house is quiet.
Benjamin is having a little miso soup snack.
With Clara in Kindergarten, he has recently become an only child
for 1 hour and 53 minutes of the day.
Everyday.
He likes it.

A Little Lesson:
Wouldn't it be great if we could knock down that fence that divides the grass that is greener on the other side of us and have it all. I would sign up to raise an only child when I was teaching the family home evening lesson, traveling, sacrament meeting, buying school clothes and making supper. I would sign up for raising four kids for the family home evening game, Saturday morning chores, summer days at the beach, bedtime stories, trips to Disneyland, mother's day breakfast and after school hangout on the couch. Since I can barely keep the little patch of grass I have now mowed and weeded perhaps I should be grateful for what I have.

Rules

Yesterday I played a game of Disney Princess Monopoly with Clara.
There was no dice in the box so Clara made up all the rules. How many spaces we would go, whether forward or backwards, what the chance card said (even though she only reads phonetic words) what we could buy and not buy, and how much money we would give and receive.
It wasn't very fun.

A Little Lesson
By the end of it I was feeling really good about the decision of NOT
choosing Lucifer's Plan back in the Pre-existence.

Thank You Elder Bednar!

I know hearing the prophets testifying of the divintiy of Christ and the everlasting and true doctrine found in the Book of Mormon and the life-saving prinicples found in the Plan of Salvation is always a pleasure every general conference. But one of my favourite talks this year was when Elder Bednar shared some of the more real moments of his child rearing days. If you are feeling a little discouraged about how your children behave during family prayer or family home evening . . .go have a listen to Elder Bednar.
HERE
(5th speaker Saturday morning session)

A Little Lesson
I'm not sure why hearing Elder Bednar's talk about his boys poking and giggling through family prayer made me feel better about the reverence level, or lack of it in our home. Oh but it did! Especially since the last time we had Family Home Evening two of our kids spent some quality time on the stairs, another one got a lecture, we didn't even make the youngest one stay in the room and we threatened the treat three times. . .

Butterfly Nets

As we drove past the school yard, a group of kids were learning how to play lacrosse.

Clara yells with all her might from the back seat
"Mom, LOOK they are pretending to catch butterflies!!!"

A Little Lesson

I didn't correct her or explain that she was wrong. It was just to wonderful.
Who knows, maybe they were pretending to catch butterflies.

Another Big Day

We don't have an English sign on our building, just Spanish.

It was a big day. One I had thought about many times. Craig had taken Jordan on many special "father and son" times to talk about receiving the priesthood. He had learned from thoughtful primary teachers, he had watched the deacons, priests and teachers in sacrament meeting and today was a big day. With the priesthood safely resting on the shoulders of my twelve year old, Jordan went to the front of the chapel and joined his fellow comrades to pass the sacrament to the ward. He insisted earlier that morning that I didn't sit in the pew and cry through all of this. There was no worry for that. Keeping Benjamin entertained for the few minutes during sacrament prevented any tender moments of motherhood to produce any form of tears. It was beautiful though. I felt so happy and so full of love for my boy.

A Little Lesson

These big moments in our lives come and go. I remember driving to the temple with Craig to be sealed on a beautiful sunny day, violins could be heard in my head but upon seeing on one of our forms we were missing an important signature we dashed off to city hall to take of it before the start of the ceremony. I remember when Emily was to be blessed, dressed in her beautiful white blessing dress grandma sewed out of my wedding gown, again, violins began to play in my head until seconds before she was put in the cradling hands of the priesthood circle she threw up 2-3 cups of formula all over her daddy's right shoulder. I remember when Craig received the phone call to come to the stake center to be interviewed to be in the stake presidency, we drove reverently to the chapel on a beautiful sunny day, beautiful violin melodies again could almost be heard in my head until I turned around to see the sad state of our car filled with wrappers, lunch kits, library books, a few solo shoes and food particles I didn't know what food group they came from, forced me to tell Craig to park a little ways away from the stake office doors, in case the general authority walked us to our car! The big moments are always laced with a little dose of reality. Benjamin's behavior was right on cue. Keeping it real. One day I will hear those violins play, but I am not holding my breath.

I never thought . . .part two

Never did I EVER believe we would feel prompted to do this . . .

but we were. . .



and so we did.

I never thought. . .

I wrote one little song

gave it away to the world

and . . .


http://singpeacearoundtheworld.blogspot.com/

Home

I have spent most of the summer away.
Jordan's Historica Nationals in Ottawa,
Camping with Colleen in Kelowna,
Craig's gettaway gift from Telus in Victoria,
Our family reunion in Whistler,
Our family reunion in Fairmont Hotsprings
They were all so fun, so exciting and so relaxing and so enjoyable.
It is so good to be home.
I missed my garden, our routine, my flowers, our routine, my bed, and my routine.

Don't get me wrong. . .
I am not complaining.
Some summers our only exodus is to 7-11 to get slurpees.

With all the travel it meant some of the basics went out the minivan window . . .
sitting together as a family for breakfast studying scriptures
replaced with grabbing muffins at ferry terminals and early morning drive-through windows in small towns
bedtime routine with stories and checking in
replaced with late nights and sleep overs with cousins and buddies every night
blogging
replaced with swims at hotel and resort pools
going to church in our ward
replaced with attending foreign wards and lots of driving.

It will be nice to do these things again.
I am not complaining.

A Little Lesson:
You know when you are surfing on the internet
and you are on a favourite website
and you click on a link and it takes you somewhere cool
and then another link
somewhere cool
another link
another cool place
another link
another cool page
another link . . .
eventually you feel a little lost and all you want to do is press
H O M E.
That is how I feel.

I thought I Knew

A Little Lesson:
I thought I knew . . .

I thought everything fell into place at the last minute for a trip to Ottawa
so that I could be there for my son,
who incidentally got a 2nd degree sunburn three days before he was to leave.
Nope.
He was fine. He was so ready to immerse himself in this
once-and-a-lifetime national camp, mom was not needed.
Once I was there, I realized very quickly,
in order for me to compose the music I needed to compose and write the script I needed to write
I needed to see the history that makes up this great country. . .live and in 3 dimensions.
Ottawa provided that in a way that no other place on earth could.

A Gift

I phoned her about something completely different.

I mentioned, in passing, about how I was working on trying to find

a reasonable plane ticket to Ottawa.

She interjected without blinking and said I am going to give you some points.

I have lots and I want to give you some, she said casually.

I quickly refused her generous offer.

She didn't accept my refusal and told me to hang up so she could go and book them.

Tami Lynn, just like that, gave me a gift.

That's just how she is.

She doesn't think about being generous.

She just is.

This is not the first time she has given away thousands of

points and I can bet my life on the fact it will not be the last.

And so two days ago I got home from a trip to Ottawa,

where my son presented his Pine Beetle Social Studies project in our nation's capital.

A Little Lesson:

How does one repay someone who gives such a generous gift?

You can't.

You bring her a souvenir, some flowers

and try to live your life just a little bit more the way she lives hers.

Love ya Tam.

Recovered

I am happy to say my computer crashing ordeal is over and 98.9 % of my data was recovered. It took a chunk out of my emotional reserves as I really faced the reality that I might have lost so much of what I cared so much about. It was difficult as the computer hospital would phone and we would discuss what felt like my life in terms of just one word . . .data. They would say "well it looks like we were able to access most of your data, however there was some damage in some regions. . ." My mind would drift away thinking about the Mac commercial on TV that has the goofy PC guy with all the problems and the cool MAc guy who I swore used to say in the commercials "when you buy a mac you never experience problems again, ever, ever, ever, and you don't even need to worry about backing things up because Macs never get viruses or break down or have technical issues, really. Buy a Mac." I swear that is what cool Mac guy used to say so I believed him. These days cool Mac guy is not looking so cool. I don't think the computer doctor had ever had so many prayers said on his behalf to be skillfull in finding all of my lost data. My beautiful Mac is home safe and sound and life has returned to normal. I must say I still love my Mac and would never want to live without one.

A Little Lesson:
The obvious lesson: back up your computer.

The less obvious lesson: it is the things we value most in life - our children, our memories, our families, our companions, our testimonies, our health, our friendships, that have to sit side by side with the mindless daily tasks that take up our time day in day out. They sit together on the To Do list and wait to be picked. Neglect of these precious things in the name of b u s y n e s s can leave us with sorrow and pain that can be deep and life altering. Neglect of these precious things can leave us with a phone call that might end up saying. . .it just wasn't able to be recovered.

Back Up

The morning started with my indestructible Mac crashing.

The threat of losing

my pictures...my documents...my videos...25,000 Peace Project registrations

my valuable emails...our itunes...and every song I ever composed

took the air out of my lungs and left my brain in a thick fog.

The computer hospital asked if I had backed up my data,

I hung my head in shame and sorrow and replied...no.

The day continued as Jordan comes running announcing

that his Pine Beetle project which will be presented in Ottawa

in exactly one week, from this very moment

had been attacked by a short one-and-a-half-year-old

carrying a deadly Sharpe.

It was indeed a crime scene to behold.

I explained it was in the hallway

because I was going to take it

back up the stairs where it would be safer

then it's temporary home in the den. . .

I just hadn't taken it up yet.

Finally, evening came and I left for a meeting I had in Langley.

I decided to drive by our beloved temple.

As I drove up,

sun pouring down on this sacred building...

I stopped.

I no longer felt the grim circumstances of my present

nor the bleak what if's of my future

instead, I backed up and remembered.

Remembered all the good I enjoy in my life.

It was easy to do standing alone in the evening sun

marveling at the beautiful dark blue stain glass that adorned

the front of this Holy House.

A Little Lesson:

I think we must endure and embrace the present,

have faith and believe in the the future,

and frequently remember and learn from our past.

Don't Fall!

Where did it come from?
She likes to get up on top of things.
She hangs from things in precarious ways.
She maneuvers around high places as if she were made of rubber.
She climbs up on things that if she were to fall she would break her back.
Craig and I are both cautious, calculated and conservative.
Does God throw foreign DNA into our kids to keep us on our toes?

A Little Lesson:

The expression "He gets that from you","She gets that from me" can be heard regularly in our home. As we watch our children grow, it is so amazing to see the different characteristics that make up who they are. Some, they have learned from being around us and genetically makes sense and clearly some they have brought here all on their own. I think the exercise of recognizing these qualities and characteristics is valuable. It reminds us that we don't own our children. We don't just feed them and dress them and mold them into versions of ourselves. Instead, we are stewards over them while they are here on earth. I think understanding this stewardship, takes some of the pressure off. We still have to walk the tightrope of parenting but there is a platform behind us, a platform in front of us, a big long rod to keep our balance and a safety net 50 feet below us. We may look like we are alone and even feel alone, but we are not. We are covered. We will not fall.

Brothers

Jordan stops to tie his shoe.
Benjamin stops to watch.

A Little Lesson:
One is so big.
One is so small.
That doesn't matter when you adore one another.

Carefree Concerns

I took the kids to the park next the church

while Craig took care of an interview.
On the way there, Clara yells,
"Mom! What will my name be when I grow up and become a mommy???
It wont be Clara Murley!!!"

Emily explains,
"It's okay Clara, once you find your husband, you take his last name."

She responds more settled,
"okay"

A Little Lesson:
They are so little.
They play like maniacs.
They run and scream like
they don't have a care in the world.
Don't be fooled.

Daddy's Shoulders

A Little Lesson

He carries the. . .

weighty issues at work

heavy matters of our stake

complicated dynamics of four children

the rigamoroll of being married to me

life stresses of fatherhood, priesthood and manhood

on his shoulders.

Sometimes he takes a break,

when taking long walks on the beach,

and trades those in for 30-40 pounds of love.

Job Description

A Little Lesson:
Sometimes I think of things
I hope my girls will understand
when they become moms.
When life becomes a little overwhelming. . .
and it will.

r e m e m b e r


Before we came here to earth...

we had one role

c h i l d o f G o d

and then we get here. . .

and with each passing year the job description gets longer and longer and longer.

Wife, mother, friend, sister, aunt, daughter, teacher, cousin, niece, cook, referee, gardener, scholar, beautician, financier, confident, chauffeur, fashion consultant, arbitrator, coach, executive assistant, leader, psychologist, crafter, house keeper, story teller, composer,
nurse, actor, carpenter, nutritionist, entrepreneur, receptionist, historian,
pharmacist, flower arranger, quick order chef, entertainer,
traveler, security guard, photographer,
counselor, artist
musician.

Go easy on yourself.

SummerTime

Summer started 4 days ago.
Every prayer Clara has given in our family, she has asked that when the kids go
back to school tomorrow, that they will go safely.

A Little Lesson:
Clara would like time to speed up so she can
return to blissful days of being practically an only child.

I want time to slow down so I can savor these finite
days of little fingers and little toes.

Emily would like time to stand still so that
her carefree summer could last forever.

Craig would like to find more time to balance
his work, his family and his church responsibilities and perhaps start a hobby.

Jordan would like to take a time-out from piano and chores and
play Wii, basketball and hockey until his hearts content.

Benjamin thinks he's having the time of his life
now that there is an endless supply of jumbo freezies waiting for him in the freezer.

We All Go

Some of us play with our shoes

some of us squawk and have to be taken out of the room
some of us slouch in our chair
some of us sit at the piano and accompany
some of us try to listen over the squawking

but we all go
to hear Emily play in her end-of-the-year violin concert.
It's just what we do.

A Little Lesson:
I always entertain the idea of just getting in the car and taking Emily to her concert on my own, there would be no arguing in the car, no asking to go out for lunch after wards, no trying to find a row with six empty seats, no asking when it's over or how much longer, no squawking from little people under three feet, just quiet concert going bliss.
But then I remember life is short...and off we go.

What?

"What?" she asks
"I took a mud bath..."

A Little Lesson:
I don't mind.
Things like this don't get under my skin.
She's a kid.
Kids get dirty.
As for the school bags and coats dropped on the floor,
not hung up,
by her older siblings,
to the right and left of her...
E M I L Y ! J OR D A N ! G E T D O W N H E R E!

Going South

A Little Lesson:

Some temple trips we leave early in the morning,
drive for 3 hours
Craig goes into the temple for a session
kids play in the park
I go in for two hours
kids still play the park
we all get back in the car
drive for 3 more hours until we get home.

This temple trip
felt like the
Rolls Royce of temple trips.

There is nothing like hanging out with friends
who you've known for almost 2 decades
have kids the same ages as yours
and loves the gospel as much as you do.

Say Cheese

More often than not when I unload my pictures from my camera onto my computer in the early hours of the morning, waiting for me are a few pictures that were taken by my camera snatcher, otherwise known as Clara. I will say she is is pretty consistent. There is always a picture of her adorable brother . . .

She can't resist taking a picture of one of her body parts. . .

And of course the classic super zoom self portrait of the face . . .

No wait I can get even closer (she says to herself)


A Little Lesson:
It is one of the highlights of my morning.